I am giving myself a headache just listening to me. J is just out of control with the non-listening. How many times to I have to repeat myself. How angry of a tone do I have to have to have him even act like he hears me. I get absolutly no respect from him. I know he is only 3 but come on! He can't listen, ever? I keep telling people that he never listen to me. They shake their head like, oh ya I know. Do you? Do you really? When I say never I really mean NEVER EVER EVER! It isn't selective, it as if I don't exsist. Who am I? Oh ya, I am just the one who feeds you and bathes you and loves you...but that is ok...you don't have to listen to me. I just love to talk to myself. I really have to stop jumping off couches and standing up in my chair and getting down from the kitchen table every time I am sitting at it just so I can stop telling myself to stop doing these things. AAHHHHHHHHH! I am an irrate bitch right now cause I can't take it anymore. Even my mom, who thinks he is just cute and adorable was like, "what is his problem?" today when we went over there. Oh and the best part is that now his favorite saying is "I don't like you!" This is when he doesn't get his way. I know it doesn't mean anything...but it just stings a little. Thank you very much!
I always knew that toddlers were hard, but this one is just a pistol. I see some of my friends. Ya their child may not hear them on the first or second try, but usually the get it. My son would rather throw down and see who is going to win this battle. I am just tired of fighting all day. Does anyone have any advise for me? HELP!
If you got this far...thanks for reading my rant. Just needed to get some of it out. Now it is time to go get the little shit up from his nap....thank god he still naps!!!
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6 comments:
ok, my advice...whatever you do
don't let him win.
if you let him win once, then the battle has been lost.
(and maybe stock up in wine coolers???? that could be good advice too)
But realy, this is the HARDEST age ever. People talk about the terrible two's but I just don't agree with that. AT this age, they have figured out that they have their own minds, and htey want to use them. I always gave my kids choices (like 2), but that way it felt like THEY got to make the choice.
Not that it always works, but it helps. Just know that this time will speed by (no matter how slow its creeping at the moment), and htings WILL get better. But, as I'm always telling my husband, you have to BE THE PARENT.
Much love girl, and hang in there.
Ali I feel your pain.
David is exactly the same. I have to say things 20 times and until I shout it doesn't seem to register, it does but he ignores me. I'm not one to spank but on 2 occasions I have slapped David but the outcome was that I felt worse for doing it so I will never resort to slapping again. Once was when he bit me really hard on my hand because he didn't want to hold my hand in the middle of a tantrum while crossing a road, I just reacted by giving him a tap on the mouth (object of aggresion) that totally caught him by surprise. I don't feel like that worked any, he just got worse and I wasn't getting my message across because it didn't really hurt him nearly enough to get my message across. My conclusion is to punish in other hurtful ways: no telly, no toys... I find it's much more effective. The threat "Right, I'm taking your new car back to the shop right now" tends to work quite well.
Cassie has given you some great advice. I also give him 2 choices: "David we can do this the good way or the bad way, you choose". If he says the bad way I start putting toys in my box and say that these toys are going back to the shop where good little boys get to play with them because toys are for good boys. Usually he says the good way but carries on misbehaving so I explain that that's not the good way. I tend to leave him on his own in what we call the thinking corner so that he can think about what he's doing and why it's wrong. I also stick to what I say no matter how much it hurts once he's being good and I explain time and time again that next time he will think about it before misbehaving.
On the subject of eating: if he doens't eat there are no second choices, he eats what he gets or there's nothing else. Since starting school he says "I don't like vegetables" which irritates the hell out of me because he's always been a fantastic eater of everything. If he says he doesn't want dinner then I immediately say "Well come on then it's bed time" to which he normally says "I'll eat dinner". It's all about negociating these days. I've found that the story of the 3 BIlly Goats Gruff has helped me, I use it as an example. When he misbehaves and grunts and shouts I ask if he's the Naughty Troll that lives under the bridge because he sounds just like him and nobody likes the troll and he's got no friends and I wonder if he smells like the ugly smelly troll too. I try to bring him round to my territory but I NEVER GIVE IN and he always knows who's the boss.
I'm not sure if I've helped you at all but I hope I have just a little bit.
3 is definitely a HARD age! Brooke wasn't listening to me at all there for awhile but she's gotten better lately. Have you read 1-2-3 Magic? I use the technique in that book. Basically when they are doing something they shouldn't be doing you say "That's 1" and count to 5 to yourself if the behavior continues you say "That's 2" then count to 5 to yourself and then if it still continues you say "That's 3, take 5" and they have to go to timeout for 5mins every single time you get to 3. Brooke knows I mean business and will usually shape up at 1 or 2 because she knows if I get to 3 she's going to timeout. Consistency is the key!
If we lived by eachother we could sit and drink while the kids occupied eachother. LOL
Another thing that is key with the counting is you don't talk to them while you are counting. Just count and give them the opportunity to shape up(that's why you wait 5seconds in between). After they serve their timeout all is forgiven and you go about your day no discussions.
((hugs)) I have no advice b/c I am not there yet...but I will be soon enough and I will be posting these same posts! Good luck hon.
Boy...do I hear ya on this one. It's the same way at our house x2. My constant complaint to Kirk is that I get SO TIRED of repeating myself. And each time I have to repeat myself, I usually get louder and more angry. Like you, I wish they could 'just listen'. Kirk has asked "What do we do?". I guess Super Nanny's advice would be to only say something once. If they don't comply, they go in timeout. This, for us, is another battle. Getting them to stay put. We did get a special time out stool and Noah is getting better about staying seated. I'm also trying not to spank as much. I constantly tell the boys "no hitting each other" and I feel terrible when I 'hit' them. :(
Everyone tells me this will pass....but I keep asking "WHEN?".
However, just this morning, I brought Noah his clothes and asked him if he could please get dressed while I got Gabe up. When I came back upstairs, he had almost all of his clothes on. I was so impressed and gave him lots of praise for listening and doing such a good job. It is such a rare occurance when something like this happens. LOL
Hang in there...((hugs))
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